CPR 2-25-2012 LADY EMMA BREAKS A PUG'S HEART

The humans at 540 Paddock went to eat tonight at a gathering of freshman parents down the street at the Savejs.  Lady Emma was supposed to go with us, but at the last moment, she begged off (and as Catsby would say, in Napoleonic French,"Vous les chiens sont tellement bons à la mendicité" (you dogs are so good at begging)), saying she had a head ache, and please give her apologies to Max, the Savejs Pug.  Well, when we humans arrived at the Savejs, we were informed that Lady and Max earlier in the week had taken quite a long walk together, and that Max had asked Lady to come to dinner on Saturday, and that Lady had consented,.  When we broke the news to Max that Lady had a headache and couldn't come (Photo 1), he was quite crestfallen. (Photo 2).  Heartbroken, more like it. (Photo 3).  Every one at the party tried to cheer him up, and Kassie K, who was there,  sang to him in some foreign language, but nothing could cure his heartache.  Well,maybe the meat balls and lasagna from Avanti could have cured his heartache, but  Max just didn't feel like eating alone at his table.   You know its love when you turn down a meatball.

SPONSORED BY THE LASAGNA FROM AVANTI, THE LASAGNA WITH THE POWER TO CURE A PUG'S BROKEN HEART.  HAD HE BEEN ABLE TO EAT IT.

 CPR 2-24-2012  LADY EMMA'S FRIDAY LENTEN SACRIFICE

Lady Emma announced today that like Newt Gingrich, she had converted to catholicism. (Perhaps as part of a long term strategy when she runs for re-election as Head Pet.  Pet Demographics do show the majority of Pets at 540 Paddock to be practicing Cat-holics.) To demonstrate her commitment to her new found faith, she ordered a  meatless Margherita Pizza from Cristo's. Of course she had it delivered, and conveniently couldn't find her change purse when it came time for paying for the pizza.  The attached photos show how she had taken to meatless Lenten Fridays with relish. 

SPONSORED BY CRISTO'S-- ITS NOT BURNT, ITS WELL DONE

CPR 2-23-2012 CATSBY CHOOSES PHOTOS FOR HIS  CURRENCY

The Emperor Catsby has made his penultimate choice of the photos he wants used to serve as the template for the images to be engraved on the currency in his Empire.  The first photo is the image on the Empire's equivalent of the dollar (The Dollar Jay), the second photo is of the Empire's Nine Dollar bill (The Live-r, because Cats have Nine Lives), and the third photo is of the Empire's One Hundred Dollar Bill (the Cashby).

SPONSORED BY THE CURRENCY OF THE CATSBY EMPIRE -- PAID FOR WITH COLD HARD CASHBIES

CPR 2-22-2012 RETRO MONDAY ON ASH WEDNESDAY.  A LENTEN BLAST FROM THE DISTANT PAST!

Tonight's Retro Edition of Retro Monday on Wednesday features the First Pets, the Adam and Eve of the Calistro Household Pets, except that they weren't named Adam and Eve, they were named Wally and the Beaver.  Of course, many of you remember from the Daisy the Cat Profile in Fur-rage how the avuncular Wally counseled the young and pretty Daisy to become a ski cap model. But both Beaver and Wally were intimately involved in the life of the family before there were other pets;  in fact, even before there were even children in the family.  The story goes that before your reporter and the Fair Kathleen decided to have children, they wanted to see if they were capable of taking care of living things.  So they started with a house plant, which died when they failed to water it.  So they got another house plant, which this time they watered, and it lived. After months of success with the house plant, in the fall of 1986, your reporter and the fair Kathleen got a pair of cute kittens.  After they got the kittens, they gave them water every day, and cat food.  And the kittens lived.  So the next step was to throw a Naming Party.  Now at the Naming Party your reporter made a huge mistake.  He had Wally the Cat do Stand up Cat Comedy, and Wally bombed. Wally was never as funny after that party as he was before, and for that your reporter blamed himself. Wally was just not ready to do Stand Up, even before a friendly crowd.  Well, Wally and the Beaver turned out to be great cats anyway, and they were very long lived, and your Reporter and the Fair Kathleen learned many valuable lessons about taking care of living creatures, which they put into practice when Dominic and Virginia were born.  Your Reporter made sure both Dominic and Virginia got plenty of water, and he did not compel either of them to do stand up comedy at house parties.   Both Beaver and Wally made the trip to 540 Paddock Avenue,  and they were treasured felines well into the nineties, until one day Beaver just disappeared, and never came home.  Wally missed his brother, but he did stay on to advise Goliath and Daisy, when they arrived at 540 as kittens, and so the circle of indoor/outdoor life continues to this day, with pets going in, meowing to be let out, and meowing to be let in, and meowing to be let out so they can stay overnight with the single lady across the street.  Pharoah I'm talking about you.

SPONSORED BY RETRO MONDAY'S AT THE PET DOOR CAT COMEDY CLUB IN THE EAST VILLAGE.  TWO DRINK MINIMUM.SH WEDNESDAY. A RETRO LENTEN BLAST FROM THE DISTANT PAST!

CPR 2-21-2012 LIBBY GOES ON EXERCISE KICK

Perhaps inspired by Daisy the Cat's admonition to the pets to "look good, feel good" like Daisy the Cat (see CPR 2-19-2012), Libby decided to lose some weight by going on an exercise regimen that en"tailed" climbing up and over Lady Emma's Head Pet bulk, several times.  (Photos 1,2 and 3).  The effort left her exhausted (Photo 4), but put her in better physical shape for the rigors  of what was likely to be an arduous crossing of the Meriden-Weepy Eyelandia border to visit relatives.  Once a year, the felines in Weepy Eyelandia hold the "Feast of the Purple Scarf", which is a three day event during which there are giant tom sized platters of food (including LIbby's favorite, a  swish kabob of barbecued mice and robins, drenched in mole sauce) dancing (the dance of the Purple Scarf, of course) and Dean's List Celebrations. Of course, Lady claimed to be training Libby in these photographs, and that the whole success of the exercises depended upon her recumbency, which if she was obliged to nap in order to achieve, then that was a sacrifice she will willing to make for Libby.

SPONSORED BY THE SISTERHOOD OF THE FEAST OF THE PURPLE SCARF, a charitable organization dedicated to helping kittens impressed into labor by the Snow Bengalese build new lives in Meriden, Connecticut.

CPR 2-20-2012 PETS GO IN, PETS GO OUT--THE CIRCLE OF INDOOR/OUTDOOR LIFE

It's President's Day, and Lady as Head Pet declared a celebration in her honor.  Head Pet, says Lady, is the equivalent of being president.

So when Kathleen aired out the house, Gracie went out on the roof.  How she got off the roof is a mystery, but when she was next seen she was meowing to be let in the front door.  (Photos 1 and 2).  The other pets enjoyed the outdoors, and scoffed at the prediction on February 2nd of Puxahanty Phil, the Groundhog, that there would be six more weeks of winter.  Kathleen worked hard all day cleaning up fur, so it would appear some animals are prepared to shed their winter coats.  Of course, Lady's coat, as a Head Pet, is a North Face.

SPONSORED BY NORTH FACE.  YES, WE MAKE JACKETS FOR PETS TOO.

CPR 2-20-2012 PETS GO IN, PETS GO OUT, THE CIRCLE OF INDOOR/OUTDOOR LIFE

It's President's Day, and Lady as Head Pet declared a celebration in her honor.  Head Pet, says Lady, is the equivalent of being president.

So when Kathleen aired out the house, Gracie went out on the roof.  How she got off the roof is a mystery, but when she was next seen she was meowing to be let in the front door.  (Photos 1 and 2).  The other pets enjoyed the outdoors, and scoffed at the prediction on February 2nd of Puxahanty Phil, the Groundhog, that there would be six more weeks of winter.  Kathleen worked hard all day cleaning up fur, so it would appear some animals are prepared to shed their winter coats.  Of course, Lady's coat, as a Head Pet, is a North Face.

SPONSORED BY NORTH FACE.  YES, WE MAKE JACKETS FOR PETS TOO.