CPR 9-21-2012 LADY EMMA RESCUES ERRANT BICYCLIST

While some might question whether or not  brilliant PR (Pet Relations) 
mastermind DTC (Daisy the Cat) staged the incident,  a side of Lady Emma was 
revealed earlier this evening that can only help her Head Pet Administration 
poll numbers.  Sometime around 7 PM, a somewhat balance defying woman was seen 
in the back driveway at 540 Paddock Avenue, attempting recklessly what was for 
her the apparently difficult feat of  trying to move forward on a bicycle.  The 
woman fell off the bicycle, and Lady charged out into the driveway, ignoring the 
obvious peril of the woman's flailing limbs, and heaving bosom, offering 
compassionate reassurance and assistance, not unlike a St. Bernard, and posing 
heroically for the Pet Press photographers, including your reporter. (See Photos 
1, 2, and 3).  Assistance in the form of a helping hand up soon arrived for the 
woman, who survived the incident unharmed, and soon was able to go on her merry 
and grass stained way, after receiving a few tips from Lady Emma upon how the 
pedals on the bicycle were supposed to operate. ("You gotta f**king push the 
pedal with your f**king feet!", Lady helpfully if not profanely advised the 
woman, not being able to suppress under the excitable circumstances her Canine 
Tourette's )  A Press Release soon followed from DTC, pointing out that, unlike 
certain felines (we're talking about you, Catsby) with illusions of grandeur and 
delusions of empire, Lady Emma views government as there to help, not rule. 
 
SPONSORED BY THE COMPASSIONATE AND CARING HEAD PET ADMINISTRATION OF LADY EMMA, 
HEROINE,  WHOSE MOTTO IS "WE DON'T CARE HOW CLUMSY YOU MAY BE, IF YOU FALL OFF 
YOUR BIKE, WE WILL BE THERE TO HELP AND POSE FOR PICTURES"