CPR 10-7-2012 ----FACT CHECKING THE FIRST DEBATE

Due to the length of the debate held at the North Shore Animal Shelter 
Auditorium, it has not been possible to publish a transcript of the debate in 
one Report.  Nor has it been possible, due to the need of the Pet Participants 
to nap, for the debate to be held on one day.  Instead, the Debate has been 
partitioned into ten minute sound clips (the Dogs involved prefer the term 
"clips" to "bites", as the use of  "bites", the debaters agree, reinforces 
stereotypes that certain segments of the Pet World have regarding the proclivity 
of dogs to now and then, take a well deserved irritated  nip at something or 
someone pissing them off). These sound clips  will the subject of successive 
CPRs leading up to the National Head Pet Election, the date for which has yet to 
be determined, due to the controversy over recently enacted, somewhat stringent 
Pet Balloting Laws, which require Proof of Rabies and Distemper Vaccination, 
Photo ID Dog Licenses and Dog Tags, and written Indemnification Agreements from 
Felines pledging payment of cleaning expenses necessitated by the ralphing of 
Hair Balls in  Voting Booths.  As our Readership will recall, the first clip 
from the debate focussed on the heroism of Lady Emma in rescuing Libby the Cat 
and several dozen other pets from a burning Meriden Humane Shelter and 
constructing a series of levees to extinguish the fire.  The Mutt Romney 
Campaign has challenged the factual assertions of Lady Emma, so as is both the 
duty and obligation of a Free Pet Press, your CPR has investigated these claims 
by interviewing Libby the Cat to get the straight scoop (which invokes 
regrettably an image of Libby's freaking litter box, and the duty of your 
reporter to have to clean it three freaking times a week).  When queried, LIbby 
maintained (Photo 1, Libby maintaining)  that while the version of her rescue 
given at the debate by Lady Emma may not have been the literal truth (which 
Libby pronounced "Litter- al".  Still with the Boxes! We'll clean them, all 
right!) it was nevertheless the figurative truth.  When asked what she meant, 
Libby said it was not unlike the difference between taking communion and 
considering the wine and wafer, as perhaps some Protestants do, "symbolizing" 
that it is the body and blood of Christ, contrasted with a view that sees the 
wine and wafer being "transubstaniated" into the actual body and blood of 
Christ.  Libby went on to pontificate (see Photo 2, Libby pontificating) that 
with respect to her rescue, the fact was, literally, Lady was her saviour, so it 
didn't matter whether or not the rescue and the construction of levees were 
merely figurative declarations, it was all essentially true. So in view of this 
explanation, your CPR takes the fact checking view that the statements made at 
the debate by Lady (see Photo 3) were "accurate", and the Mutt Romney Campaign 
is therefore penalized by the loss of a timeout.  It should also be noted that 
Mutt Romney referred to Libby's place of birth as "Sleepy Eyelandia" when in 
fact it is "Weepy Eyelandia", so said factual misreference is going to cost the 
BarkBark Obama Campaign a time out, since they failed to correct the reference 
at the time it was made.   Sorry, Mutt amd BarkBark,  the rules of the Debate 
are the rules of the Debate, even as we make them up as we go along. 
 
SPONSORED BY THE RESCUE DOGMA OF THE LADY EMMA CAMPAIGN TO ELECT LADY EMMA HEAD 
PET.  WE ARE ALL LADY EMMA, IN SPIRIT, AND WE SHOULD ALL APPROVE THIS MESSAGE.