CPR OCTOBER 4, 2012 -- LADY EMMA SEIZES THE MOMENT AT THE DEBATE

ello, and Welcome to the North Shore Animal Shelter Auditorium for the first in 
a series of debates between the National Head Pet contenders.  My name is 
Barkley Pellomello, from NPR (National Pup-Lick Radio) and I will be the 
Moderator for tonight's debate.   On the left is Mutt Romney, a converted German 
Shepard  (Photo 1 ) , who is affiliated with the extreme right paw of the 
Re-Pup-lican Party. In the middle is Barkbark Obama, a Portugese Water Dog 
(Photo 2) the current incumbent National Head Pet.  And on the right is, I must 
say, a quite beautiful Cavalier King Charles Spaniel, named Lady Emma, who is 
presently Head Pet of all areas north of the Hancock Parallel. The first 
question is directed to Mutt Romney, and it relates to charges that have been 
levied against him by his opponents that, given his German background and the 
number of neo conservative shepards he has chosen as advisers, he cannot be 
trusted to maintian the peace.  Mr. Mutt, how do you respond to the criticism 
that if you are elected you will misuse the power of your position to impose the 
will of German Shepards upon the rest of the Pet World 
. 
Mutt Romney:  This absurd criticism has come about because I have publicly 
stated that we should use any means necessary to stop the marauding armies of 
the Pussy's Republic of Snow Bengalia from invading Sleepy Eyelandia.  I think 
we are all aware of the tragic story of the separation of Libby the Cat from her 
family  in Sleepy Eyelandia... 
 
Lady Emma (interrupting) :  Cur, I knew Libby the Cat.  Libby the Cat was  a 
friend of mine.  You Cur, are no Libby the Cat. 
 
(Audience packed with Pets from 540 Paddock Avenue erupts in riotous applause 
for Lady) 
 
Barkley Pellomello:  Yes, Lady, I think we are all aware of the noble act you 
performed in rescuing Libby the Cat from the Meriden Humane Shelter, and how you 
insisted that your human family take her in, despite her weepy eye.  And may I 
say you look lovely tonight... 
 
Mutt Romney:  Wait.  I wasn't finished answering the question you posed to me. 
 
Barkley Pellomello (angrily to Mutt):  Shut up! Lady was speaking. (tenderly to 
Lady) You were saying, Delightful Lady? 
 
Lady Emma (Batting her eyelashes, well,she doesn't actually have eyelashes, so 
all she actually does is open and close her eyes several times in rapid 
succession):  Thank you Barkley.  But what your listening audience may not know 
is that not only did I rescue Libby from the Meriden Humane Shelter, but at the 
time I adopted her the Shelter building was actually burning down, and I rescued 
something like three dozen cats that night, and several dogs, and then single 
pawedly  put out the fire by building a series of levies which diverted the 
waters of the Quinnipiac River and caused a cascade which extinguished the fire.  
And then I took aside each one of the Cats I had rescued and pulled them out of 
poverty while simultaneously balancing the Humane Society's budget.  It reminds 
me of a story-- just yesterday I was approached by a stray dog at this very 
shelter, who asked me for my autography, which I gave him, but I hope I gave him 
something more:  I gave him hope, and change, and while I was at it, a nice 
whiff of my delectable butt. 
 
(540 Paddock Pets in audience applaud wildly) 
 
Barkley Pellomello:  Ah Lady, I don't see much point in continuing this debate.  
I know I'm the Moderator, but I just can't be immoderate in my enthusiasm for 
your candidacy.  Why don't we take a break here, and we can resume this debate 
tomorrow night, when hopefully these other candidates will let you address your 
heroic accomplishments without too much interruption.  Until tomorrow night, 
this is Barkley Pellomello, wishing you good night.  Not you, Mutt. Mainly Lady,  
well pretty much exclusively Lady.  Good night Lovely Lady. 
 
SPONSORED BY THE GOLD IN THE EMPEROR CATSBY ROYAL TREASURY. 540 PETS RULE!  
BARKLEY PELLOMELLO'S WARDROBE PAID FOR THE EMPEROR CATSBY, AND HIS FIRST AND 
SECOND MORTGAGES TOO. I'M LADY EMMA AND I APPROVED THIS DEBATE.