CPR 11-5-2012 EROSION IN POLLS SPURS MASTER SASSAFRAS TRUTH SPINNING

On the heels (okay, paws) of Pharoah the Cat's jumping off Lady Emma's bandwagon 
in protest over the Emergency Pet Rationing, Lady Emma's campaign was forced to 
do damage control on the eve of the National Head Pet Election. First, her 
SpokesCat, Daisy the Cat, stated that the Emergency Order allegedly rationing 
the naps was misunderstood; actually, the Order recommended that Pets hoard 
naps, and that it was only "rational" that pets in times of crisis take every 
available nap.  To explain away the misunderstanding, Lady dispatched the 
Ultimate Spinmaster, Master Sassafras  (Photos 1 and 2, bearing a strong 
resemblance to a certain Jay Catsby) to battleground households in Baltimore, 
Schenectady, and East Granby, where Master Sassafras was able to deflect 
attention away (Photo 3, Catsby, er we mean, Sassafras, deflecting) from Lady's 
Executive Gaffe, by accusing the remaining National Head Pet candidate, Mutt 
Romney, of strapping his human to the top of a car on a family vacation, and 
distributing copies of a video showing Mutt Romney at a campaign cocktail party 
at the American Kennel Club,describing Cats to a group of pedigreed hounds as 
"self centered, fur brained, lazy pussies who do nothing all day but nap and 
depend on handouts from pet owners too stupid to own a dog".  Will Master 
Sassafras's spinning save the Election for Lady Emma? Be with us tomorrow, and 
if you are a Pet reading this, don't forget to vote! 
 
SPONSORED BY THE SPINMASTER, MASTER SASSAFRAS, SPINNING THE TRUTH TO FIT WHAT 
SHOULD BE THE FACTS