CPR 2-1-2013 INDEPENDENT PROSECUTOR PREPARES FOR PROSECUTION BY LOOKING OTHER WAY

Jay Catsby, who yesterday was appointed to investigate and prosecute Darnell the 
Cat's use of Feline Growth Hormone(FGH) by the Commissioner of Major League 
Mouse Hunting (MLMH), Butt Smelling,  spent today preparing to prepare for 
Darnell's investigation and prosecution. Prosecutor Catsby's  preparations for 
the commencement of his investigation consisted mainly of practicing looking the 
other way (Photos 1, 2 and 3), since he pledged not to look the other way during 
his investigation, and as it is so tempting to look the other way, he really had 
to spend an entire day looking the other way to eliminate the temptation of 
looking the other way once his investigation begins in earnest, although he 
would prefer to begin it in Meriden.  "How can I begin this investigation in 
earnest?" he asked his staff, Libby the Cat, "When I don't have a working Google 
Maps app to route me to Earnest?  Where is Earnest, anyway?"  "Isn't it a peak 
of some kind" asked Libby "Mount Earnest?"  "I'm telling you, Libby, once the 
investigation starts, I can't even peak the other way.  This is why I am doing 
it now. Because once the investigation begins, it concludes.  End of case.  
Darnell used, we know it, he knows it, the MLMH titles, the paw wristlets, the 
front row seats at the ESPYs, it's all over. Ka-pawt." 
 
Tomorrow:  The CPR will publish the foregone conclusions of the  Independent 
Prosecutor and Commissioner Smelling will issue his Sanctions 
 
SPONSORED BY THE DARNELL THE CAT "LITTER STRONG FOUNDATION".  RAISING MONEY FOR 
FELINE AIDS, IN MEMORY OF Jinx-y Kittkua, DARNELL'S LOST AND IMAGINARY LOVE