CPR 2-4-2013 NATIONAL HEAD PET LIASON RELEASES INAUGURAL BALL PHOTOS

Despite his promise to issue sanctions today against Darnell the Cat for his PED 
(Pussycat Enhanced Drugs) usage, no news regarding Darnell's punishment for the 
violations found by Independent Prosecator Jay Catsby emerged today from the 
Office of the  Commissioner of MLMH (Major League Mouse Hunting). "This inaction 
is in itself a form of sanction" claimed Commissioner Butt Smelling (Photo 1), 
"Or rather, more precisely put, this inaction is a form of nap, which I find I 
need in order to conduct the important business of the Office of Commissioner of 
MLMH, which includes postponing the issuance of sanctions for violators of our 
policies on PEDs.  But I  can tell you this: I am leaning, actually reclining 
(which I have to do to nap) towards declaring Darnell as eligible for the Tour 
de France, which I just think is funnier than declaring him ineligible."  When 
asked to comment on the Commissioner's inaction, Lady Emma's Spokescat, Daisy 
the Cat, released the attached photos of National Head Pet, First Lady dancing 
with her "good friend" Hedgie at her Inauguration Ball. (Photos 2 and 3) " One 
picture is worth a thousand furs" said Daisy the Cat, which left the National 
Head Pet Press Corp scratching their heads,before thanking Daisy for not saying  
the photos were worth a thousand turds, which even Lady Emma's political enemies 
agree would have been disrespectful to the office of National Head Pet, as well 
as to the Office of the Commissioner of MLMH, and disrespectful to the vast 
membership of the Cav-Hedgehog Greco Roman Wrestling Society. 
 
SPONSORED BY THE CAV-HEDGEHOG GRECO ROMAN WRESTLING SOCIETY.  AFTER WE WRESTLE, 

WE DANCE. AFTER WE DANCE, WE BEAT EACH OTHER WITH OLIVE BRANCHES.