CPR 9-19-2012 THE EMPEROR ISSUES A CALL TO THE PET KINGDOM

On the advice of his Chancellor of the Exchequer, Darnell, whose freshly minted 
online Economics degree lends weight to his advice, Jay Catsby has issued a call 
to animals not traditionally thought of as pets to join his empire.  The message 
was received with relative indifference at the Big E, with only the sheep, being 
rather unthinking followers, expressing any limited enthusiasm for joining 
forces with the Emperor.  (Photo 1, sheep expressing limited enthusiasm, and 
Photo 2, sheep expressing even more limited enthusiasm).  On the other hand, or 
paw, or hoof, the pigs, including the young 'uns,  at the fair expressed genuine 
hostility towards Catsby's advances, which Catsby attributed to their 
identification with the corpulent Head Pet at 540 Paddock, Lady Emma, whose 
porcine grunts upon exertion, Catsby claims, resonate with the pigs. (Photo 3) 
Lady Emma, who claims jurisdiction over all pets north of the Hancock Parallel, 
which the Big E decidedly is, for her part could care less whether a bunch of 
sheep or pigs or calves pay her tribute.  Says Lady Emma:  "They're sheep. 
They're pigs. They're cows Who gives a flying f**k."  (Readers who may be 
shocked at Lady's language may not realize that Lady had a bad case of Canine 
Tourette's this summer that apparently she has not completely recovered from. 
More on her struggle to recover from this debilitating neurological disorder 
will be the subject of a future PROFILE IN FUR-RAGE" 
 
SPONSORED BY A BUNCH OF SHEEP AT THE BIG E.  Baaaaaaaaaa- humbug. 

R 9-19-2012 THE EMPEROR ISSUES A CALL TO THE PET KINGDOM