CPR 2-13-2012 CATSBY SEEKS ENLIGHTENMENT

To keep himself fit for his upcoming campaign to conquer and rule the Pet World, Catsby has begun taking Yoga classes at the Jay Catsby and Pharoah the Cat Fur Friend Kripalu Kitty Birkam.  (Pharoah wanted the business to be a "Purr-kam",  but Catsby thought the reference to "Birkam" was so obscure that no one would get the pun).  Daisy the Cat  volunteered to be an instructor at the Birkam (or Purr-kam, as Pharoah insists), and she attempted to teach Catsby several Yoga poses as are illustrated by the attached photos.  The first pose is "Downward Facing Cat", a variant on the Downward Facing Dog (which Daisy couldn't convince Catsby to attempt, even when she referred to it by its hindu name, Adho Mukha Savasana. Of course, when Daisy referenced the Hindu name, Catsby thought Daisy was haka chanting at him, which disrupted the session and sort of defeated the whole relaxation vibe that Daisy was trying to achieve. Catsby got wound up by the reference to the Downward Facing Dog, saying he wanted to do Yoga, not Doga).  Daisy tried to sell the  "Downward Looking Cat' to Catsby as  a transitional pose, a resting pose and a great strengthener", but when Catsby attempted the pose (Photo 1) the only aspect of the maneuver he truly mastered was the casting of his eyes downward, which he claimed "failed to give him great peace but did afford him a breathtaking view of his belly fur".  The next pose Daisy attempted to teach Catsby was the "Raised Paws and Right Hind Foot" pose (Urdhva Hastasana Pussyfootmukha) (Photo 2). Catsby had some trouble lifting his hind foot for this pose, and was somewhat disappointed after lifting his foot that he did not experience instant enlightenment;  he complained that what he felt was exhaustion, and that if Daisy expected a tip after their session, she better come up with something that did more for him than make him look silly.  Daisy then tried to teach him the "Dune Emperor's Floating Gloating Plus Size Kripalu Kitty Pose" (Obesesana kittymukha vin vin viga voom), which in practice resulted in a Catsby pose virtually identical to the Raised Paw and Right Hand Foot pose. (Photo 3).  Again, Catsby failed to achieve enlightenment, and he stormed out, refusing to pay himself for the session.

SPONSORED BY The Jay Catsby and Pharoah the Cat Fur Friend Kripalu Kitty Birkam, Jay Catsby, Yogi