CPR 2-22-2012 RETRO MONDAY ON ASH WEDNESDAY.  A LENTEN BLAST FROM THE DISTANT PAST!

Tonight's Retro Edition of Retro Monday on Wednesday features the First Pets, the Adam and Eve of the Calistro Household Pets, except that they weren't named Adam and Eve, they were named Wally and the Beaver.  Of course, many of you remember from the Daisy the Cat Profile in Fur-rage how the avuncular Wally counseled the young and pretty Daisy to become a ski cap model. But both Beaver and Wally were intimately involved in the life of the family before there were other pets;  in fact, even before there were even children in the family.  The story goes that before your reporter and the Fair Kathleen decided to have children, they wanted to see if they were capable of taking care of living things.  So they started with a house plant, which died when they failed to water it.  So they got another house plant, which this time they watered, and it lived. After months of success with the house plant, in the fall of 1986, your reporter and the fair Kathleen got a pair of cute kittens.  After they got the kittens, they gave them water every day, and cat food.  And the kittens lived.  So the next step was to throw a Naming Party.  Now at the Naming Party your reporter made a huge mistake.  He had Wally the Cat do Stand up Cat Comedy, and Wally bombed. Wally was never as funny after that party as he was before, and for that your reporter blamed himself. Wally was just not ready to do Stand Up, even before a friendly crowd.  Well, Wally and the Beaver turned out to be great cats anyway, and they were very long lived, and your Reporter and the Fair Kathleen learned many valuable lessons about taking care of living creatures, which they put into practice when Dominic and Virginia were born.  Your Reporter made sure both Dominic and Virginia got plenty of water, and he did not compel either of them to do stand up comedy at house parties.   Both Beaver and Wally made the trip to 540 Paddock Avenue,  and they were treasured felines well into the nineties, until one day Beaver just disappeared, and never came home.  Wally missed his brother, but he did stay on to advise Goliath and Daisy, when they arrived at 540 as kittens, and so the circle of indoor/outdoor life continues to this day, with pets going in, meowing to be let out, and meowing to be let in, and meowing to be let out so they can stay overnight with the single lady across the street.  Pharoah I'm talking about you.

SPONSORED BY RETRO MONDAY'S AT THE PET DOOR CAT COMEDY CLUB IN THE EAST VILLAGE.  TWO DRINK MINIMUM.SH WEDNESDAY. A RETRO LENTEN BLAST FROM THE DISTANT PAST!