CPR 4-15-2012 JAY CATSBY GETS BACK TO THE BUSINESS OF RULING THE PET WORLD

Following an eventful week and a half, in which Virginia returned home, the pets traveled to Disney World, Catsby engorged himself on french fries at the Disney World in France, and there was a big party held to celebrate Virginia's birthday, the self proclaimed Emperor Catsby spent Sunday devoting himself to the pursuit of an Empress.  The final candidates were lined up(Photo 1), and Catsby interviewed each, asking important questions, such as "If we play Catopoly, will you let me win?  But not let me know you're letting me win?', and, "Will you run interference on the morning feeding, and distract Darnell from his bowl, letting me slip in while he's distracted to polish off what's left?'.   He couldn't help noticing that one of the candidates had a particularly deep bunny voice, and upon closer inspection, appeared to be wearing a blue bow tie.  Catsby, never one to shy away from controversy, asked this Empress Candidate straight out:  "Are you a transgendered Empress Candidate, or did my crack screening committee actually have me interview a boy bunny?"  It turned out that the Empress Candidate was not actually a candidate, but was simply a stuffed bunny who had gotten the date wrong for Virginia's birthday party, but had stuck around anyway to be interviewed under the mistaken impression that an interview was a necessary prerequisite for qualifying for a cup of coffee, which as of noon on Sunday still had not finished brewing from the day before.  Once the "bow tied bunny" was removed from consideration, Catsby posed with the remaining candidates for a publicity photo (Photo 2), following which he allowed himself to be photographed considering his decision (Photo 3), which he will announce tomorrow, unless in the interim the bow tied bunny obtains an injunction against the selection of any of the remaining candidates due to discrimination in the selection process against deep voiced, bow tied, possibly transgendered stuffed bunny rabbits, or in the alternative seeks a writ of mandamus compelling the immediate brewing of a cup of coffee.

SPONSORED BY THE ALLIANCE OF BOW TIED TRANSGENDERED STUFFED BUNNIES WANTING A CUP OF COFFEE (Lady Emma, Treasurer)