CPR 4-16-2012 UNEXPECTED ENTRY INTO EMPRESS COMPETITION

As anticipated, the Bow Tied Bunny whom the Emperor Catsby suspected of being transgendered, filed for an injunction today, seeking an order from the Highest Court (being of course--"the tall Refrigerator in the kitchen") declaring the basis for his disqualification as Empress-- to wit, a Blue Bow Tie-- to be  constitutionally suspect, and an illegal infringement on his right to don blue accessories. The case was immediately taken up (to the top of, that's right, "the tall refrigerator in the kitchen") where Justice Gracie Sotomeow became immediately ill informed and ill advised (by her clerk, the same Jay Catsby conducting the Empress Competition) on the issue, and she declared that if anyone should be Empress, it should be she, as she embodied Grace, or at least that was her name, and she was by far the most beautiful feline in the known Pet World.  To support her claim of beauty, she issued an order that your reporter publish the attached photos, so that our readership could send cards and letters to the Emperor Catsby supporting her Empress Candidacy, or perhaps sign an electronic petition, or go door to door, soliciting contributions in her name, or canvassing voters, or selling subscriptions to Cat Fancy magazine, although what this last door to door activity has to do with her becoming Empress is not clear. Justice Sotomeow''s order that  the CPR publish information regarding her Empress bona fides is the opposite of a gag order, not that any of the 540 Paddock felines need to be ordered to gag; most of them just wait until the humans are asleep, and then of their own volition  vigorously and enthusiatically  start hacking up hair balls until the wee hours of the morning, ruining the human's sleep.  To editorialize, there is and should be no dispute that Gracie is a pretty cat;  the problem has always been with her personality, in that she seems intolerant of humans.  But as Gracie points out, she would become Empress of the Pets, not of the humans, and she has always gotten along with the Pets, and it's not as though she has to sell magazine subscriptions to humans door to door; she has people for that. To editorialize further, it would be much appreciated if these felilnes could stop hacking up in the middle of the night; it might make for more lucid Pet Reports.