CPR 4-2-2012 IN STUNNING UPSET, NEW NCAAA EATING CHAMPION CROWNED

The National Cat Athletic Appetite Association staged its National Championship eating competition this morning.  In a major upset, the young Darnell upset the self proclaimed Emperor, inter alia,  of the Morning Breakfast Bowl, Jay Catsby, emptying his bowl by a whisker, well, by several whiskers, ahead of Catsby. (Photos 1 and 2). Catsby cried foul when the Counter Judge, Gracie, declared Darnell the winner.  Catsby claimed that Gracie couldn't be the Counter Judge because she was the Refrigerator Judge, and that she had the improper angle for determining who finished first, and anyway, it was not in Catsby's destiny to lose at anything!  Notwithstanding Catsby's protests, and the near certain likelihood of future litigation over the declared result, Darnell was crowned the winner in a touching ceremony (touching, because in order to place the crown on his head, Darnell had to be touched and held by the photographer).  (Photo 3)

SPONSORED BY THE LAW FIRM OF JAY CATSBY AND PHAROAH, WHO TAKE THE "FUR" OUT OF HIGH LEGAL FEES, AND WHO WILL ALMOST CERTAINLY HANDLE THE APPEAL OF JUDGE GRACIE'S DECISION, WHICH WILL BE RULED UPON BY JUSTICE GRACIE SOTOMEOW, WHOSE DECISION WILL IN TURN BE WRITTEN BY HER LAW CLERK, JAY CATSBY,