CPR 5-2-2012 DARNELL MEETS AND GREETS A VERY, VERY, VERY LOST MOUSE

The doorbell at 540 Paddock rang last night, and your reporter was too ensconced in his easy chair to get up to see who was at the door. So he delegated the task to the nearest cat, who turned out to be Darnell.  As fate would have it, when Darnell opened the door, there was a mouse on the doormat, a very lost mouse, a very, very lost mouse.  The mouse claimed that his car had broken down, and that he needed to use a phone, as the battery on his cell had died, and oh, by the way, was there by any chance a piece of cheese in the house?  Darnell ushered him into the house, but when the mouse saw that he entered the home of not one, but six cats, he passed out in the foyer. Darnell did his best to revive him (Photos 1, and 2) but when the mouse opened his eyes, and saw the Emperor Catsby, he tried to scurry into the corner (Photo 3) which was the wrong move, although not nearly as wrong as the move he made in entering the foyer in the first place. Well whatever happened next happened very quickly, and there were no witnesses, other than Catsby and Darnell, and it turns out that Catsby had just prior to the mouse's arrival appointed himself the Official Pet Coroner of 540 Paddock, and his verdict, as Coroner, was that the mouse had died of a cardiac arrest,  and that the mouse whisker which appears on Darnell's nose in the photographs was entirely circumstantial, coincidental, and inconclusive of any untoward behavior towards what, to be honest about it, was after all a trespawsser, and certainly, Darnell was within his rights under the 540 Paddock Avenue "Stand and Defend the Cheese Law", which, though controversial, has withstood challenge by various Vermin Rights groups before the High Court and Tall Refrigerator of Justice Gracie Sotomeow, who is a cat, true, but a cat not without compassion, even if devoid of personality.  After Jay Catsby the Coroner had declared his verdict, he then exercised his perogative as Jay Catsby the Emperor to count the deceased mouse as a former Pet of the Empire, and to tally the deceased's mouse's vote as one towards the election of Elsie the Scottish Fold as Empress. 

SPONSORED BY PETME (PETS for the ETHICAL TREATMENT OF MICE and ELSIE)