540 PADDOCK AVENUE
NI HAO, THE CHINESE KITTEN THAT SURVIVED A TRIP ACROSS THE PACIFIC OCEAN IN A SHIPPING CONTAINER, TODAY SOUGHT ASYLUM AT 540 PADDOCK AVENUE. AMBASSADOR JAY CATSBY, WHO RECEIVED THE PETITION WHILE AT BREAKFAST, PROMISED SWIFT ACTION ON THE PETITION, PROVIDED HE RECEIVED SWIFT SERVICE OF HIS BREAKFAST. AS OF THIS WRITING, CATSBY IS STILL WAITING ON HIS RASHER OF BACON, AND POOR NI HAO, AND THE ENTIRE CIVILIZED PET WORLD, IS STILL WAITING ON AN ANSWER TO THE PETITION. STAY TUNED TO THE CPR FOR FURTHER DEVELOPMENTS. SPONSORED BY THE PEOPLE'S REPUBLIC OF CHINA. WE EAT OUR KITTENS, AND SEND YOU THE LESS TASTY ONES.
