CPR 3-12-2012 DARNELL UNDERGOES THE KNIFE

As referenced in last night's CPR, Darnell went into the East Side Veterinary Clinic today for his "surgery".  Of course, no sooner had he left the house in his chauffeur driven cat carrier than the other cats began gossiping.  "East Side Veterinary Clinic, my left front paw!" scoffed Libby. "If you ask me, he's left for a rehab clinic. "  "I hope actually he's visiting a gastroenterologist" said Gracie, wishfully. "Something needs to be done about that cat's digestive system.  Everything he eats turns to gas!"  "" I doubt it" pronounced Jay Catsby. "The best known cat gastroenterologist, whom I know well, being myself, isn't aware of any surgical appointments over the next week,. Of course, my recommendation would be that that Darnell undergo a sphincterectomy, or a feline farterectomy, and perhaps he is better off waiting, as next month the Diego the Cat Memorial Medical Center is having a special, a feline farterectomy at half price if you order one or more of our other premium surgeries, such as tail elongation,. or tongue de-burring."  

Poor Darnell.  His actual surgery involved his pet private parts, but to hide the nature of his surgery from the other cats at 540 Paddock, he insisted that the Vet outfit him with a cervical collar, so he could claim that all he had   was a cervical laminectomy, and that he was still as virile as ever, so don't even consider messing with him.  Unfortunately, the collar has proven to be quite uncomfortable, to say nothing of  dopey looking, so since he has come home, he has spent most of his time trying to remove it. Unsuccessfully.  Fortunately for him, one of premium surgeries being offered next month by Dr. Jay Catsby at the Diego the Cat Memorial Medical Center is a "collar-ectomy", for which Darnell has already booked a bed.

SPONSORED BY THE DIEGO THE CAT MEMORIAL MEDICAL CENTER -- BOOK A PAINLESS COLLAR CUTTING AT FULL PRICE TODAY, GET YOUR FARTERECTOMY AT HALF PRICE, THROUGH THE END OF APRIL