CPR 2-17-2012 HISTORICAL ANTIPATHY EXPLAINED
Subscribers will recall that Libby the Cat in Tuesday night's CPR (2-14-2012 PETS CLAIM CREDIT FOR VIRGINIA'S MAKING DEAN'S LIST) claimed that her Purple Scarf was ceremonial and celebratory headwear from her native land of Weepy Eyelandia. Libby claimed that the reason she detested Pharoah was because his native country, The Pussie's Republic of Snow Bengalia, had invaded her country, and forced her to work in a cheap kitten labor factory, making crates for stolen laptops and Haka Karoake machines. Your reporter was initially skeptical of these claims, but Libby showed him the attached photo of a ferocious Pharoah look alike (Photo 1), which was taken, Libby claims, at a Dean's List Celebration that got crashed by a band of marauding Snow Bengalese. When your reporter asked Libby if she had any other documentary proof that the Snow Bengalese had invaded Weepy Eyelandia, she showed me a photo of another Pharoah Look Alike doing a "Sieg Paw" salute to the Snow Bengalese Dictator, referred to as the "Fur"eher" by the Snow Bengalese. Libby claims the "Fur eher" led the Snow Bengalese army across the Weepy Eyelandia border in a "kittenzkrieg", sweeping up the innocent young kittens like herself and locking them up in factories. She offered as her final documentary proof a photo of our own Pharoah yawning (Photo 3), pointing out the uncanny similarity in jaw musculature between that which is visible in Photo 3 and Photo 1. "Surely," said Libby, you can understand the antipathy I experience every time I enter a room and Pharoah is already there. This whole business with him and Catsby's trying to corner (or rather, crate) the haka karaoke machine market just brings back memories of all the ruined Dean's List celebrations I attended in the Old Country." Your Reporter had to agree the photos were dramatic, and that the Snow Bengalese in Photo 1 bore an uncanny resemblance to Pharoah. Libby's story has to be told in the next Profile in Fur-rage, and perhaps Pharoah's in a new feature," Profiles in Fur-ehers"
SPONSORED BY THE WEEPY EYELANDIA CONSULATE IN MERIDEN, LOCATED AT THE MERIDEN HUMANE SHELTER
