(EDITOR'S NOTE-- REPORT CAME OUT ILLEGIBLE IN FIRST PUBLISHED VERSION--NARRATIVE IS POSTED HERE, PHOTOS CAN BE SEEN IN REPORT THAT FOLLOWS)
For fear that any diplomatic arrangements entered into would only be valid and enforceable one day a year every four years, the Peace Talks commenced on February 28, 2012 (See CPR 2-28-2012 PET PEACE TALKS RESUME, PROGRESS MADE) were suspended today, as was the weekly Retro Monday on Wednesday CPR feature, as the archives are regrettably devoid of Retro Leap Year Pet Photos. On the theory that she would only have to apologize for her cattiness once every four years, Gracie got together with Lady Emma (Photo 1) to apologize for gossiping about Lady and Max. (Photo 2). "Lady" said Gracie "I am sorry I calumny-ized you. In my defense, I am still confused about what a calumny is, and I was wondering if in fact Calumny is a cat perfume. and if you would mind if I smelled your butt, to see if it smells like a scent I might wear while wandering into the darkness." Lady told Gracie she accepted her apology, but she certainly wouldn't be allowed to smell her butt, unless of course she could count on Gracie's vote when she next ran for Head Pet. Also, Lady expected that when the known pet world was finally divided between her and Catsby, Gracie would come under Lady's dominion, er rather, Gracie would reside in a household in which Lady was the freely and duly demo"cat"ically elected Chief Muckety Muck Grand Poohbah Head Pet for Life of the Pets, and that Gracie would be under her hegemony, actually, "Hedgie-mony"(Those familiar with Lady Emma know that her favorite toy is a stuffed miniature hedge hog, thoroughly chewed, named Hedgie, and for those unfamiliar with Hedgie, a photo of Lady with the duly conscripted "Hedgie", is attached hereto as Photo 3), which meant that Gracie's judicial rulings as Justice Gracie Sotomeow, rendered from on top of the refrigerator, the highest court at 540 Paddock Avenue, would have to rubber stamp Lady's Executive Orders and Edicts, including Lady's Administration's plan to nationalize the breakfast dishes. "That sounds like an awful lot to ask for one lousy sniff" said Gracie. "You are asking me to sacrifice my judicial independence, or rather, my Clerk's, Jay Catsby's, exercise of my judicial independence. But okay. Let me poke my nose in there, will you?" (The CPR has in its editorial judgment decided not to publish this photo, even though pets sniffing other pets' butts does generally generate thousands of hits in the blogosphere. But then again, so do Pets mocking Angelina Jolie's leg pose at the Oscar. (This photo is attached as a bonus on the blog,and sent out as a separate e-mail, sans commentary, to our subscribers) The ritual of the apology was concluded with this malodorous congress between pets. SPONSORED BY THE RITUAL OF THE APOLOGY, A FILM DIRECTED AND WRITTEN BY JAY CATSBY, STARRING ANGELINA JOLIE AS GRACIE THE CAT AND KIM KARDASHIAN, AS LADY EMMA'S BUTT
