CPR 3-23-2012 THE EMPEROR CATSBY DEMOTES PHAROAH FOR HIS PUBLIC RELATIONS FAUX PAW

The Emperor Catsby was angered by what he viewed as the disloyalty of Pharoah in allowing himself to be photographed by the CPR making peace with Libby.  (Photo 1 of Catsby being very very angry).  "Everyone knows the media is in the tank for Lady Emma and her administration" Catsby complained. "Those photographs went out to the pet world, and now pets in the regions to be conquered, er, rather, ruled by me, will think that Lady is somehow competent to be in charge."  Catsby decided to exile Pharoah to the basement at 540 Paddock to teach him a lesson, but he needed a second in charge. To that end, he attempted to cajole Darnell into waking up and paying attention. (Photo 2).  "Wake up Darnell" Catsby growled. " I need you to serve as my Chief of Staff!"  Darnell woke up and wanted to know if the position came with a parking spot. "What do you mean a parking spot? You don't drive a car!"  "Not yet" said Darnell, "But Pharoah says he has an in with Virginia, and that he can get her to give him the keys to the Mustang any time he wants.  He's going to teach me to drive"  Well, that did it for Catsby. (Photo 3)  " You two are giving me a headache.  Go park yourself in the cellar with Pharoah and stay there until you are ready to rule the world with me! And maybe, maybe, when you have re-ordered your priorities, I will let you drive one of my tanks."  Darnell happily trotted off to join Pharoah in the cellar, as he didn't know about any ordering of priorities (Is ordering a priority like ordering a pizza, he wondered) but the idea of driving a tank sure excited him.

SPONSORED BY THE PET MEDIA THAT'S IN THE TANK FOR LADY EMMA.  JUST WAIT UNTIL DARNELL GETS BEHIND THE WHEEL OF THAT TANK AND FINDS OUT WHO HIS REAL BOSS IS!

CPR 3-22-2012 PEACE IN OUR TIME

Daily readers of the CPR may have noticed that there was no CPR yesterday.  This was not due to your reporter's laziness, or need for sleep, as some may think, but is attributable to the fact that at press time a tense, all night mediation was being conducted by Lady Emma's peace envoy, Daisy the Cat. Daisy successfully brought historical enemies Libby from Weepy Eyelandia and Pharoah from the Pussies' Republic of Snow Bengalia to the negotiating table (or rather the negotiating black leather recliner) where they went back to back, butt to butt, and belly to belly (Photos 1,2, and 3).  The successful negotiating session was a major public relations coup for Lady
Emma's Head Pet administration, and answered her critics that her administration was doing little to promote peace among the pets.  "Ha!" said Lady Emma to her critics " Ha! Let those of  you who have criticized the domestic policy of my administration eat cat turds! (Which I have, and which are actually quite delicious, particularly when rolled in kitty litter.)  When it was pointed out that Daisy the Cat, sister of the late, great Sainted Goliath, did all the work, and that it hardly seemed fair that Lady Emma should claim all the credit, Lady retorted:  "Ha! To the Victims Belong the Soils!"  which possibly made no sense at all, but had Darnell nodding his head in agreement.

SPONSORED BY DAISY THE CAT'S HAIR CHEWING AND PEACE BROKERING SALONS. COME UP FOR A CLIP AND AN EQUITABLE DIVIDE.

CPR 3-20-2012 CATSBY PRACTICES SPEAKING TO THE MASSES AT HIS CORONATION AS EMPEROR

Really, the title says it all.   The last photo shows Catsby pondering his greatness.

CPR RIOTOUS ASSEMBLY QUELLED

Word had reached Lady Emma's Head Pet Administration that the boys--Jay Catsby, 
Pharoah, and Darnell-- were meeting to discuss again to discuss the launch of 
their magazine, PAWBOY,  Lady Emma, as Head Pet, is also in charge of the 540 
Paddock Peace Forces, and her informants suggested there could potentially be a 
Riotous Assembly which might need to be Quelled by Lady's Forces of Reason, as 
she likes to refer to her army, navy, and marines, a/k/a Libby the Cat. So Lady 
showed up to monitor the meeting. (Photo 1) Sure enough, when Pharoah again 
floated the idea that the magazine should be renamed, this time as "PHAROAH 
ILLUSTRATED",  Jay Catsby haka chanted his disagreement,(Photo 2)  which led to 
Pharoah challenging Jay Catsby to step outside, (Oh yeah, you can't, can you? 
You're an indoor pussy, Pussy!), which of course led to the further 
in"fur"iation of Catsby (Photo 3), and nearly to a full fledged Riotous 
Assembly!  .  Fortunately, by reason of Lady Emma's prophylactic presence, she 
was able to summon her Forces of Reason,Libby, who Quickly Quelled the Riotous 
Assembly by hosing down the Boys with High Powered Hisses. 
 
SPONSORED BY LADY'S FORCES OF REASONS.  LADY EMMA WANTS YOU! 

CPR 3-19-2012 RIOTOUS ASSEMBLY QUELLED

CPR 3-18-2012 BUSINESS PLAN DISCUSSED FOR NEW MAGAZINE BY PET BOYS

The boys--Pharoah, Catsby, and Darnell-- met in the upstairs bedroom/conference room earlier today, to discuss the business plan for the distribution and publication of PAWBOY MAGAZINE.  Since Pharoah's paw was to be used in the inaugural issue, he led the discussion. (Photo 1).  Midway through the meeting, Pharoah proposed changing the name of the magazine from PAWBOY to PHAROAH'S PAWBOY.  Catsby's reaction was immediate, if not predictable. (Photo 2).  Catsby then suggested that his paws be used for the inaugural issue, but Pharoah stretched out and silenced the suggestion with the sheer grandeur and sensuousness of his paw. (Photo 3)  It was then agreed that it was best for the potential magazine to put its best foot, or paw, forward, and Darnell and Catsby agreed to go forward with publication plans, provided the original name, PAWBOY, was kept, and Pharoah murmured, hey, it was only a suggestion, to help sales in Snow Bengalia, but Darnell said they wanted to sell copies of the magazine in Weepy Eyelandia, too, so PAWBOY it was.

SPONSORED BY PAWBOY MAGAZINE--   INAUGURAL PUBLICATION SLATED FOR SOMETIME SOON.