(DTC) Portrait in Furrage, which is the remainder of her interview from a week
ago.
CPR: Tell us some more about your foundation, PETME.
DTC: I saw what was going on in the garden and I felt I had to do something
about it. What is the point of being a world famous cat ski cap model if I can't
influence other pets to do good?
CPR: How many moles, or Edwards, has your foundation actually saved?
DTC: Well, we have re-located Edward's family to the Giannetti lawn next door.
Edward's family is just as likely to be pursued and hunted down there as they
would be in our garden, but it is my understanding it is easier, ethically
speaking, to weigh the mole carcasses down with stones and throw them in the
pond, where they would sink to the bottom, then it would be to carry the
carcasses all the way to the porch., where I would have to see them.
CPR: How is dumping mole carcasses in the pond, gangland style, ethical?
DTC: Everything is on the up and up.. The moles are captured, executed,and
weighted down by stones in accordance with Geneva Convention protocol and the
rules we cats have made up. Only quality stones are used to sink the carcasses.
I refer you to our Mission Statement.
CPR: You have a Mission Statement?
DTC: Of course. It was drafted by my attorney, Jay Catsby, of the Firm of
Catsby & Pharoah. Their Motto: "You steal a laptop, you kill a mole,you need a
Mission Statement, we will fix the laptop, we will put the fix in with the
judge, and we will fix, rather, draft, the Mission Statement"
CPR: Kind of a long Motto, isn't it?
DTC: They charge by the word. Wait. What! The Pup- a - Razzi are back! I
will frighten them off! (Photos 1 and 2)
The interview was abruptly (though not too soon) concluded, and Daisy retired to
her private dining room, at the top of the staircase from the cellar into the
kitchen, where she daintily stuck her tongue out at the last Pup-a Razzi before
closing the door to eat in peace.
Sponsored by PETME, What Charity Should Be, Fair, Swift and Finite
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