CPR 10-15-2012  NATIONAL HEAD PET DEBATE RESUMES

Hello again. I am Barkley Pellomello, and welcome again to the North Shore Animal Shelter Auditorium for the resumption of the National Head Pet debate between Barkbark Obama, Mutt Romney, and Lady Emma. Tonight we are privileged to have the Emperor Jay Catsby take over the questioning of the candidates. Barkbark Obama: Hey wait a minute. Why does he get to ask the questions? He's one of Lady's biggest backers when he's not disputing who gets to rule what portion of the Pet World! Barkley Pellomello: It is precisely because of his conflict of interest with Lady Emma that he is uniquely qualified to ask unbiased questions of the candidates, for as you should be well aware, Barkbark,it was in a case before the Highest Court in the Land, atop the tallest refrigerator in the Kitchen at 540 Paddock, in front of her Honor Justice Gracie Sotomeow (Photo 1), for whom Jay Catsby served as a law clerk, in an opinion authored by Jay Catsby, and argued by Jay Catsby (Photo 2, Jay Catsby arguing with himself), that the principle of "conflict of interest" was held contrary to natural pet law, as no pet can be considered at any time to act in other than his own self interest. The case, encaptioned J. Catsby, the Corporation, v. Jay Catsby, the Cat, popularly known as the "Pussies United" case, also stood for the proposition that a Corporation could be considered a cat if the Cat was a corporation, and hence both the Cat and the Corporation could spend unlimited amounts of money on cat food, treats, and fancy designer scratching posts, and each could sue the other, and vice versa, so long as Catsby's legal fees got paid. You should know this basic principle of Pet Jurisprudence, Barkbark. You have now lost all your timeouts, and that question and answer constitutes the end of the first quarter. Mutt Romney: What about your conflict, Barkley? You are clearly smitten by Lady Emma. How can you moderate impartially? Barkley Pellomello: Because it is the end of the First Quarter, and we are now going to a commercial, I don't have to answer that,except, all I can say, is one photo is worth a thousand curs. Look at that delightful dogface! (Photo3) My God, Mutt, are you made of stone? SPONSORED BY JAY CATSBY, THE CORPORATION. SO SUE ME.